Customer Scare
"All of our customer care representatives are currently busy.
Your call is important to us.
You will be attended to shortly."
Let me translate this for you line by line (I hope y'all thank me for my time in doing this...it's a lengthy task, I'm sure you'll all appreciate!):
"All of our customer care representatives are currently busy." means we are sipping coffee and eating chicken fillets with curly fries and mayonnaise on the side. As soon as we finish painting our lipstick back on, we will be BACK!
"Your call is important to us." means sorry we are a little busy trying to find some pantyhose (ya3ni, tights/stockings) because we've got ladders up ours at the moment, and we can't go to the nightclub looking like this. What time does the local supermarket close? HOLD ON, I'm just finding out!
"You will be attended to shortly." means sorry, we've run out of hospital beds, and can't accommodate you. OOPS! Sorry, I can't speak English. I am Lebanese (from "the" Lebanon), and the zaatar (spice) got stuck in my teeth when I was trying to communicate. Ana, I try...wallah.
End of the story is can someone please eggsblain what is going on here.
31 comments:
naahahahaahaa!!! freakin hilarious, but true.
Though it's not across the board, sadly, CSR's often suck - it's like they suffer from lethargy towards the job or something and/or, perhaps get no training or perhaps they just don't care?
I like to add, given recent announcement by Ali Al Kaabi, allowing University students to work limited hours - I think it could bring about much change. I mean, look at it this way:
- first jobs as CSR's gives them that pretty good start (especially dealing with people at home turf)
- plus most of 'em have so much energy/time as is, and surely can use that across the UAE
- students would want to earn the extra monies (and for sure shall spend it all in the UAE economy :)
- firms can invest in training - which comparatively would be less than what they pay for visa fees to hire foreign CSR's
I for one, would love to see existing uni students across the UAE, do limited hours work, most of them seem well aware of how UAE functions and what is needed, especially as CSR's.
It ain't all my take, but also what I've heard from young folks attending unis in the UAE. Plus, there won't be this need for corporations to spend thousands of AED's on visas to hire newer foreign CSR's on AED 1500 a month salary.
Anyhoooo, am going off topic.
""...find some pantyhose (ya3ni, tights/stockings) because we've got ladders up ours at the moment,"
naahahaaahaaa!!!
Now you make for zdeal zis 'ana I know' biznis, a fikra!
Lol !
I like how you summed that all up !
I hate calling Etisalat... they make you wait for 20-45 mins sometimes....
>>All of our customer care representatives are currently busy."<<
Means
We are too bloody mean to employ enough people or train them to do their jobs efficiently.
I've always thought CSRs main job is to protect the company from the customer! Its like a buffer zone where nothing can actually be done and their main purpose is to keep the customer occupied until they get bored of making their complaint/request.
Rose has it exactly right - I've always wondered that if 'your call is important to us' why don't they employ enough people to answer the calls.
*rosh, though I read your comment a thousand times, all I can say is that theory is not quite implemented in this part of the world. Hmm. You & localexpat share a lot of these kinds of views.
*alexander, i* thanks we woz frands, so thare4 I use this terminologeez "ana, I..." becuz I thanks this thangs make sense in the bosts. Thanks you for the zataar sandweesh. I akz U naw 4 fish & chibs 4from ur fantastic FAT EXPAT blog.
*snaz, ahem, cleverclogs, this had something to do with some kind of customer service helpline: how did you guess? ;-)
*rose in dubai, I don't think you're too far off in your assumptions. Personally, I wonder sometimes if there's any point in seriously debating such issues when even personal complaints seem to go unanswered. Whatever the reason for this, I look for action. And when results aren't delivered, it makes one (re)think, or reconfirm one's own assumptions, which for the most part, remain unchanged: quite unfortunately.
*seabee, same response to *rose in dubai applies: "why" doesn't seem appropriate these days.
Man, why'd you read it a 1000 times? I didn't mean to punish anybody hehehe :) I thought it was implemented or about to be? so says "(n)ever-reliable" Gulf News.
Yea....Local & I have such common views - hmmmm....?
*rosh, me x1000 times reading your comment doesn't mean much.
Your words are wise: perhaps localexpat's collaboration, given his & yours official stance, might account to results.
Until then, my blog is just a platform for intellectual and actionable comments such as yours, if you wish to follow the lawful platforms.
ya3ni roshy, I mite be stoopid coz I didn't understand your comment, but if you have a precise comment to make, that can be understood by the majority, please make it, because my small brain did not understand the valuable points you made.
With all due respect :)
Oh no! I am having some classic UAE sentiments coming my way.
For what it's worth, my comment was in humor yo, guess......the tone didn't come across well. Your blogs are indeed a splendid platform for intellectual and actionable comments/debate. I love your blogs and posts lots.
Couple of years back, one of amongst our operating units, performed an extensive global research project - a common business objective was improving customers’ satisfaction with service is a rapidly rising corporate priority and companies are increasing investment in tracking customer satisfaction and what drives it. While the majority of companies are beginning to understand aggregate-level trends in customer satisfaction, only a few companies are able to systematically identify how to change "service delivery processes" for the better — yet this is what all of the interviewed companies most want to do.
corporations are also aware that the wholesale shift from retail outlets to call centers, which are now being offshored - most often, not "connecting" with the local lingo/culture - has been alienating for customers - add to that, some silly CRM automation and other customer-hostile systems have, in many cases, made this situation worse.
Anyhoooo, I think it'd be great to bring in uni students into such positions, primarily 'cause, as a CSR, one has to deal with lots of characters. Whether dealing with internal customers, or external, the folks need a high level of people savvy, technical knowledge, and diplomacy. Personally, I think it takes that extra amount of , freshness, energy and awareness of local market/culture, besides knowledge of products/services offered.
have much more to say, however must get back to deadly deadlines, before they get me.
Oh rosh, I was not dissing you...I apologise because upon re-reading that comment after 12 hours, seems offensive!
No, I was praising you; funny way of showing it, innit.
I did not mean to criticise you at all: rather, the way things are 'down under' (ya3ni compared geographically to your location ;-) ), by saying "my small brain did not understand the valuable points you made" & also that "theory is not quite implemented in this part of the world".
I did not mean to offend you, and sorry for the misunderstanding, rosh.
Were you calling to complain about the Internet? The Internet is down across the entire Middle East... apparently some ship captain threw his ship's anchor where he wasn't supposed to and it damaged some major sea cables. So now we are all fucked for the next week or so untill they get someone to fix it.
I would hate to work for customer service and have you call in... you sound like a not so nice person to deal with ;)
*dotssfun, you seem like the perfect worker for customer service: I am sure, with your patience and grasp of customer issues, that you could get handle any complaint with 5 *s.
I just wonder what your interpretation of a rocking party might be, and what the dress code is.
I got totally pissed off waiting for Itisatwat to answer the help line the other nite, so Hubs took over. He was on hold for over 40mins & when a CSR finally spoke, Hubs 1st question was: What's the hold up in answering phones?
CSR says: Terribly sorry sir, we're very busy!
Nah.....getaway! Really? For crying in a bucket, with the obscene profits companies like Itisatwat make, surely they could employ a few more people to handle queries?
The wait (ironically) was well worth it, as we were given a new IP number, which allowed Hubs to make a few quick adjustments *nudge nudge, wink wink*
thats the reality of customer service in this region. no restrictions, no supervision, no standards to adhere to. the funny thing is they choose the ones with the pretty voices; makes you wish you would meet them in real life. they turn out to look pretty undesirable. I once flirted with a 181 (directory) employee and managed to ask her out... man... wish i didnt.
awww thanks i* - sweet of ya :)
If you really think about it, the Uni students can cater to ALL sortsa lingo, accent and cultures in the UAE i.e. from local dialect, to tonsa Arab lingo, Asian lingo, Wester lingo - endless possibilities.
Ammaro - ouch bro :)
rosh; yeah! total bummer man, such a sweet voice!
so true!!!!
drives me nuts when i get the same message again and again!! and you know theyre sitting right there ignoring the ring ring ring!! argh!!
I don't get it. explain pls?
*rashid, excuse me for not being able to digest your comment thoroughly - I just looked at your photo in the icon and am drooling in bed. How on earth will I be able to fall asleep with this image in my mind?!
i hope u had nice nitght with me.
Lollly Rashid, your inflated muscles have resulted in retarded growth in other areas :-)
BuJ u're a mean machine! lool
Looool I know
but where did this boxer dude pop up from? WTF?!?!
oops sorry, a case of double-commenting happened above :)
Heaven knows, but it would be fair to allow him some "warm-up" time before the game continues! ;-)
LOL I*
hopefully his warm up and game with be with you and not me..
who will end up on top of this fight I wonder?
:-)
Err...I was referring to a 'blog' kinda game ;-)
If you don't mind, I'm going back to watching Heartbreak High then I'm gonna return Serious' call...
ciao ciao.
and good night to my new muscly visitor, who I've been asked to email (?!)
Rashid:
Take her out for Valentine's day!
i*maginate, you guys are destined! Don't forget to invite me for the wedding :D
I think you have been far to kind and polite.
What they are realy doing will probably get your blog blocked.
Well now we do not want that at all.
Funny !
Then again the pantyhose, may be due to an urgent case of halava. Immac does these lovely things. Warm in the palm of your hands , slap it on, yank it off. (all this takes place as we are listening to hypnotic music....)
al romantican, I think you will have found you will have misjudged?
kaya, what was commented upon was by far mere speculation. If the post was interpreted to represent a sole entity, it did not happen to be the subject of my sentiments!
and kaya, wrt to the hair-removing technology you refer to, I understand Philips regionally sells a revolutionary epilator, that snaps off unsightly hairs at the touch of a switch, intact with a massage function.
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