Hats off, Sharon!
The wonderful Dubai World Cup, the richest horserace on the planet, takes place this Saturday. Undoubtedly the most glitzy event on Dubai's social calendar, one would most likely associate high fashion with the creme de la creme of the ladies & gents strutting their stuff. How wrong you would be. Any one of you with the slightest experience of such events and their counterparts, in this case Ascot, will acknowledge that the kind of chicks that roam the greens at Dubai World Cup, sipping Dom Perignon, possess nowhere near the class of the ladies at Ascot. You can see this from their attire, and the common conversation that takes place in the ladies' portacabins, namely between the likes of Sharon & Tracy, probably airhostesses by profession.
If you're planning to go this weekend and you intend to reflect true class & style:
1) Don't wear the hat unless you're really pretentious. (Do wear the hat at Ascot, regardless of your class.) If you are a wannabe covergirl, don't wear something you made at home. If you must wear a hat, don't wear something that doesn't cost money. Fat ladies: you look fatter wearing a fat hat. Don't sit down while everyone else is standing, unless you want to look even fatter.
2) Don't wear short dresses that don't ooze glamour. There is a fine art between looking classy in a short dress and looking like a total slut. Skin-tight and cleavage are a complete no-no. Florals and chiffon are chic.
3) Trousers on ladies: You totally missed the point. Stay at home!
4) Cheap guys: buy your own f*ing drinks!
5) Guys wearing weird pin-stripe suits with something that resembles a bowling hat...you look like ponces! A true gent doesn't overdress. Don't even think about wearing a polka-dot bowtie.
6) Don't stand in the common queue for free photograph taking. True stars at such events are approached to be photographed. You look like classless tarts when you queue up in your frilly dresses selling yourself to the local press on the offchance you might be published.
7) Ladies who drink beer - this is SO unlady-like.
8) Please try and look like you aren't wearing the most expensive outfit you've ever owned.
9) Lastly, don't fall over. Your cheap dress could split to reveal your M&S thigh-huggers.
i*maginate image consultancy on request. Class not available for purchase.
11 comments:
Haha that was a fun read!
Hilarious, but quite true though. I don't dig the whole formal overdressing for sports events, let alone overdressing in cheap clothes and hidous millinery!
Thanks for tips ;-)
lol i*maginate.
I just dislike those events. Why does anybody need to wear those funny hats in the first place. I can understand the passion for horses and the art of racing, I love equestrian related sports, but to wear something totally culturally unrelated is just not for me.
Are you going?
How about boxer shorts, FCUK t-shirt, trainers & a gaucho hat?
Betcha this'll grab some chick's attention, even yours now that the dress code is known!
You can buy me whiskey & I buy you wine & off we ride in the sunset with the best looking horse in town!
lollll spot on! Personally, I can't stand such events. Everyone is a slob at heart...and events like these are the most fake moments of one's life.
So we'll recognise you as the fat bird with the n
big hat that keeps falling over and spilling her pints of snakebite!
Wont we?
Good one - lovely observation and not too cruel
I generally don't like to laugh at other peoples misfortunes, and over/under dressing at the wrong occasion is one of those things. Once it became the 'in' thing to do in Dubai, was the time I stopped going to the races.
We shall see them all in Ahlan next week, how entertaining.
so sad that i leave when the biggest event gets into gear. But for ladies who drink beer, there's a series of posts here about real women. So long desperate princess!
Will respond to your comments tomorrow I guess...it's off to the World Cup now...
I think a follow-up post will be in order...
*travelling sranger The real thing was even funnier!
*who's-sane I don't think anyone commenting on this post needs tips ;) It's not the overdressing bit, it's the lack of fashion sense I'm talking about
*hot lemon & honey Those funny hats are OK in Ascot but it's ridiculous to expect the same trend will have the same results in a place where there is a severe lack of class. Yes..I went..it was fun!
*jim sullivan I think that dress code was must have been ubiquitous in the beer tent, however that would only be a guess as I wouldn't be seen dead mixing with the likes of FCUK t-shirts anywhere on earth! Boxer shorts..hmm...i like 'em ;) Riding off into the sunset with an honest bloke would be far more attractive than sipping bubbly with a try-too-hard git ;)
*md Not all events are like this, at least internationally. The event itself was world-class, however, most people were just cheap and nouveau riche.
*taunted How dare you diss snakebite? It's one of the world's best concoctions!
*paraglider Of course it's not cruel..it's an unbiased observation ;)
*cg This post was not about under or overdressing. What I am mocking is the fact that the trend of hats and frocks is totally misunderstood by the people who wear the wrong things for an event of this calibre.
*zack What a shame you're leaving! Wish you all the best...So long to you...where are you going?
Post a Comment