A rainbow of colours at Carrefour

Yes, I went to Carrefour again, don't ask me why. I needed to. I needed some distraction, needed to assign some colours to my mind and sort it out a little. So this was my refuge: an evening at Carrefour.

I like getting the trolley (or getting someone else to get one for me) with a latch at the front on which to place my bag, though I never use it. These days someone might just decide to pick your bag up and run, but the security guards, I've noticed, are very much on the ball as they guard your trolley if you do decide to leave your bag in your trolley momentarily. I return to my trolley, pick up my bag, signalling to the guard that he can leave as I'm going to be more responsible.

I zoom past the aisles, scanning their nameboards, missing most, but seeing if I need the usual household stuff, or if that's all stocked up, hoping the answer is yes, that I don't need to scatter round the bleach and sponge aisles this month. Of course I don't need any more sponges! Thank goodness for that.

My vision hits the 'Exotic Foods' section. What the heck is Chilli Oil? Forget that. Tortillas? Will there be enough time for him to stuff them if I get them? Certainly not, with his current workload. Forget it. Was an interesting sight, though. Next please, where's the real food?

Moving on swiftly to the original stuff: fresh fruit and vegetables. My trolley's usually crammed with them. I skip the counter for ready-made food. Who on earth would buy this stuff or be seen queueing for it? Don't they have a home in which to have home-cooked food? Am I missing something? OK, skip past that one quickly and admire the beautiful flowers on the left. I hope some dude is going to stop me before I reach the bananas and hand me some flowers. Oops, only couples are walking past. Forget that one. Upright, nose in air, head for the Royal Gala Apples. Stuff about 15 into the bag. Dump in trolley. Where do I go next? Do I need to avoid anyone following me? Or do I need to be followed by anyone?

Carrots and cucumbers: damn, this is a tricky one. Make sure no guys are around. I really need to select firm ones, and hope noone's looking while I do the obligatory squeezing. While all the ladies do what they have to do, within arm's length of each other, we all know what the other is thinking.

Now, go to the tomatoes. How on earth am I meant to choose a nice tomato, it would take forever as most seem too soft! Stand there, eyes swimming in a sea of red, fingers gathering dirt as the selection gathers fruit, performing the routine of choosing and rejecting until the perfect texture positions itself between your hands. Stuff the bag, and...

Head for the meat....grab all you can while stocks last.

Go back and have your fruit & veggies weighed. In the name of respect and dignity, try not to bend over too much while you lean into your trolley, you know all the dudes gathered around are watching you. Hope that your path to the check-out is free of jealous wives, that it's going to be an easy walk.

Passing by the olives and nuts, a Spaniard-looking guy meets my eyes. As our paths cross, there was so much left unspoken. It was chemistry. It was late, I was tired. It was a public place, I couldn't return his gaze. If I could have tried to locate him again, I couldn't have, I was too shy.

To round up the episode, beautiful checkout girl, totally lovely. Braces, smile, cute, perfect. Bag-packer, he did his job, he earned his worth.

Love it. Do I love supermarkets? Yes, they are the ultimate place to play the trading game.